Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
She's not a foreskin expert like you
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Randomize
