i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
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