I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
Randomize
