3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
Randomize
