am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
Randomize
