This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
she peed on how many people?
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Randomize
