Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize
