it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
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