u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
Randomize
