The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
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