It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
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