take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
foreskin is a definite game changer
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
