It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
