Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
I think I just saw someone hide a body.
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
Randomize
