i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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