i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize
