He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize
