One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize
