when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
Randomize
