We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
