At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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