I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize
