I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
Heybabeimwearingurpanties
Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
Randomize
