I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
not ubering you a puppy
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