She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
Randomize
