weddingsv make me drug and hornr
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
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