peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
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