if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
Someone shattered a urinal.
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
What drink are we having for lunch?
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
