make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
Best friends brother. Beat that.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Randomize
