We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
Randomize
