Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
Send help, water and tortillas.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
Randomize
