Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
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