you guys were way drunker than both of me
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
My ass is underappreciated
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
Randomize
