can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
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