What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
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