I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize
