Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
this will be a night to untag.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Randomize
