your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
Randomize
