I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize
