she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
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