UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
