Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Randomize
