Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
