Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
