Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
Randomize
