I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
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