it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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