it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
I have post one night stand depression
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