did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Randomize
