just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
