I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
Randomize
